i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
