He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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