Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
