I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
