R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
