im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
