so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
