Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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