Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
