What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
