What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
