I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
