do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
