direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
