He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
