He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
