yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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