they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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