hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry my hands just texted you
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
