Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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