I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I didn't notice because vodka
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
