beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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