I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
