Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
