brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
