remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
