I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize