so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
