When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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