Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
