I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
