oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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