i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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