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We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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