I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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