What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
