she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
