Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
