just tell him i said nine months
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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