in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
