oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
