I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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