I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
