My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
