I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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