i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Your penis caused this!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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