Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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