No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
operation harelip BJ is a go
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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