I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Randomize