i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
