You're my little dorito
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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