there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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