you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
