Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
