I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
