the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
