Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
