Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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