he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
