btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
